5/5/2005

Kansas Board of Ignorance

Filed under: — menk @ 11:04 am

In Kansas today the (incorrectly named) Board of Education is poised to begin a theatrical presentation of alternatives to Evolution. The hearings will have little (read as ‘No’) effect on the board’s pre-ordained decision to vote to teach ‘Intelligent Design’ in Kansas schools. The conservative board members have essentially set the hearings to establish a soap box for proponents of Intelligent Design fantasy to tout the supposed lack of scientific proof of evolution.

Coming from the state where Dorothy’s journey to Oz originated, this is not really much of a surprise. According to a reliable source the Kansas ‘Board of Ignorance’ has stated that it is their firm belief that the origins of life on this planet was planned and orchestrated by a large green orb with a face; which resides in a Green Crystalline Castle in the land of Oz. This Orb (also known as the Wizard of Oz) is omniscient and really smart so was able to bypass any neccessity for life to develop over millions of years with incremental improvements and natural selection as proposed by Charles Darwin. Apparently so powerful is this ‘wizard’ that life on this planet under his direction went straight to it’s current condition with Kansas being the center of the universe.

The next heretical theory the Kansas Board of Ignorance will take on is that annoying ‘Theory’ that the world is round. Steve Abrams, chairman of the Kansas Board is quoted as saying: “We all know now that Magellan lied and after nearly falling off the edge of the earth he and his crew snuck back around Portugal and pretended the world was round. It’s time we set the record straight.”

Apparently on learning of the plan to teach “Intelligent Design” Dorothy was heard to say: “Are those Board members Idiots? I could have told them that the Orb was in fact a bunch of crap. I personally met the man behind the curtain and he couldn’t even control a bunch of flying monkeys much less drive the direction of life’s development.”

Interestingly enough a pair of ‘Ruby Slippers” is now for sale on e-bay as apparently the owner no longer needs the shoes as they have no desire to return to Kansas.

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